What a poem. As a new mother and wife, I relate to it on a deeper level. Trying to figure out what I want next in my career while simultaneously taking care of the house, myself, feed our son, and be a decent human.
Aaah, so true and so relevant. Obvs I see it in with the other shoe on. Domestic chores yes. Home-related chores not exclusively. I feel I have a mind-home relationship to long term finance stuff (mortgage, funding improvements and repairs). Horribly gendered. I end up being repair person. Also horribly gendered. Though we have a wonderful lady plumber!! I’m not saying any of this to counteract what you’re saying. On rhe contrary - the feeling of those roles makes us adversarial sometimes. And then there are wonderful moments of sharing and sharing chores which I much prefer.
I agree - the presence of the split and ambiguity around expectation and needs leaves all of us feeling like it can be a fight, unspoken or otherwise. But just acknowledging it goes a really long way, which I can testify in the context of my own marriage. We talk about it a lot, which sounds like a drag, but helps make it something neither of us simmers on. I don’t know what the solution is, but writing and talking about it feels like a helpful direction…! Thanks for reading - and your support - as ever.
What a poem. As a new mother and wife, I relate to it on a deeper level. Trying to figure out what I want next in my career while simultaneously taking care of the house, myself, feed our son, and be a decent human.
Beautiful piece, Katie.
Thank you so much x
Aaah, so true and so relevant. Obvs I see it in with the other shoe on. Domestic chores yes. Home-related chores not exclusively. I feel I have a mind-home relationship to long term finance stuff (mortgage, funding improvements and repairs). Horribly gendered. I end up being repair person. Also horribly gendered. Though we have a wonderful lady plumber!! I’m not saying any of this to counteract what you’re saying. On rhe contrary - the feeling of those roles makes us adversarial sometimes. And then there are wonderful moments of sharing and sharing chores which I much prefer.
I agree - the presence of the split and ambiguity around expectation and needs leaves all of us feeling like it can be a fight, unspoken or otherwise. But just acknowledging it goes a really long way, which I can testify in the context of my own marriage. We talk about it a lot, which sounds like a drag, but helps make it something neither of us simmers on. I don’t know what the solution is, but writing and talking about it feels like a helpful direction…! Thanks for reading - and your support - as ever.
Talking is everything, in my book.